Homer (spoilers) Jemima
by Big Monkey Pictures
Summary: When Homer discovers that Jemima has laid her own eggs, he goes nuts. Now he has to pay for what he's done to her.
1. Chapter 1

Homer walked into the barn and screamed by the sight of little chicks, and Jemima Puddle-Duck was admiring them, _closely_. She even kissed one of them.

Now Homer became very suspicious about what was going on that he walked over to Jemima and said, "Jemima, what are these chicks doing here?"

"Oh," said Jemima, "I've been laying my own eggs, farmer."

"Why, you little...!" Homer grasped for Jemima's long neck and strangled her. She was choking now.

"Ah, ah, ah," choked Jemmy.

"I'll teach you to lay eggs," screamed Homer, "you clumsy little duck!"

Just then, Marge came into the barn, carrying a bottle of milk. At the sight of Homer strangling Jemima, she gasped and dropped the bottle. It shattered everywhere, and everyone, including the chicks, jumped and stared at where the noise was coming from. The chicks raced for the milk.

"Homer!" cried Marge.

Homer screamed. "Marge!"

"First you abuse our son, and now one of our ducks?"

"Oh, but this one was too clumsy."

"Oh, yeah?" said Jemima. "Well, how do you explain all these chicks here?" She pointed at the little ducklings. "I did that all in a fortnight, right, guys?" she said to the other ducks.

Each and every one of them replied, "Yes, she did!"

Marge nodded as if to agree with them, then said to Homer, "That's it, Homer! I'm calling the police!"

Homer screamed, then raced to Marge until he caught her by her arms. "No, Marge! No-ho-ho-ho! It was an accident!"

"I'm calling the police, Homer," said Marge, "and that's final!"

Then Marge managed to get out of Homer's grip and raced off.

"Wait! Marge!" Homer called out, and raced after her. "It was an accident! I swear!"

And then his voice died out.


	2. Epilogue

Epilogue

 _So Homer was sentenced to one year imprisonment for domestic violence (and child abuse). Then he got sent to a high-security school owned by a ferocious and mean teacher called Miss Magpie. And literally, she was an Australian Magpie. She would peck her students ever so hard with her sharp, pointy beak. She was everyone's teacher, appearing in everyone's class all at once. She was even a substitute teacher. Miss Magpie was smart, for she's watched every single cop show and movies where prisoners escape, so there was no chance of Homer getting away._

 _Oh, I forgot to talk about the school. It was a mixture between a prison and a university. There, I said it. Even the cook made the most disgusting food you would ever eat, just like in a real prison. The first time Homer met Miss_ _Magpie_ , _she talked about the school as if it were a hotel. She even sang a song about it._

 _As for Jemima, she lived happily ever after with her ducklings. Peter Rabbit and his friends came to visit her and the chicks that often. You can imagine how nice Jemima was then ... and forever._

No more italics. We are doing the present all over again.

By the time Homer was able to be sent free, after a horrible year with such a horrible teacher, he came home and went to the barn. He noticed how happy the whole Puddle-Duck family looked that he smiled. It reminded him of his own family, when Marge used to play around with Bart and Lisa.

So he went over to Jemima. He didn't need to call her name because she already knew he was there and turned to him.

"Hey, Jemima," he said. "I'm sorry I strangled you the other day."

"Aw, that's okay, Homer," said Jemima.

"It's just that I didn't trust you, because I thought you would screw up with your egg-laying and splatter them."

One of the chicks tugged on Jemima's coat. Jemima turned to the chick and told it, "Not now, sweetie. Mummy's busy."

"But _now_ I can trust you," said Homer. "Because I see you've made quiet a happy family there."

"Aw, thanks, Homer," said Jemmy.

"So, Jemmy, can I have a hug?"

"Yes," said Jemima and they embraced.

By the time they broke free, Homer said, "I promise it'll never happen again."

Then he left without another word. Not even Jemima blurted out, "You're darn right, you are" or anything.

 **So that concludes our story which I just came up with when I was coming home from the shop. I strangled a Jemima Puddle-Duck toy at Myer. And I was imagining the farmer's reaction to Jemima having some babies would be like Homer's reaction and I thought it was funny. As for Miss Magpie, I got her off of Blinky Bill, and I reckon she's a mean teacher. And you know, I might have to write about Homer being in her school some time, if I get the chance.**

 **So don't forget to review, except for rude comments, including swearing.**


End file.
